27 years...

27 years ago Craig and I said "I WILL".    I WILL love you forever. I WILL honor you forever.  I WILL cherish you above all others.  I WILL consider your needs above all others.  Well, we did do a lot of that.  But I am here to tell you that I have failed to keep those vows as I should have.  In the beginning you think you will always keep them, because your heart is just BURSTING with love and excitement and passion.  You think you will ALWAYS put that loved one first, ahead of yourself.  You think you could NEVER be angry at that partner in life...I, for one, have failed....

Marriage is hard....very hard.  Lots and lots of hard work and commitment and self sacrifice.  The EASY part is getting swept away in love...swept away and swept up.  It is WONDERFUL!  It is a precious and cherished moment, when making those vows before God and witnesses.  It is full of hope and promise, and is an example and reminder of Christ's relationship to us, His bride. 

I wish I had done a better job...I wish I had never gotten mad, or been selfish, or demanding.  The truth is, we all make mistakes, and I know that..and I am so thankful for God's mercy and forgiveness.  My marriage is more precious to me now than ever.  We have been around the block now, so to speak.  We have been through things that could have finished us.  We've been through birth, death...war, recovery from war...broken hearts, mended hearts...first days, last days...and all the in between days. Mountaintops, valleys..and even the dry, desert lands...and by the grace of God, we are still standing.  And not just standing, but we are better than we were. Stronger..wiser..more patient. 

My husband has taught me so many things!  He taught me to be happy in the quiet.  He taught me to be still.  He taught me how to truly enjoy the outdoors.  He taught me how to loosen up and let some things go that aren't so very important.  He is still teaching me...I am grateful for the lessons. God has placed him in my life not just to love me, and be loved by me, but to refine me.  There was so much I didn't know.  And so much I have learned..and so much left to learn! There is no one else I would rather have by my side! Through the stormy seas. Through the joy and laughter.  Through the quiet times, when I miss the kids. This strange, confusing land of in between...he is the oak tree that stands strong, never wavering.  He waits patiently for me to find my way through my new normal...where I do not always know what I am supposed to be doing with my life, now that the kids are grown.  He knows...he always knows!  So I lean on him, my provision from God.  And I am thankful for this journey, pressing ever onward together with him. I am thankful for the thorns, as well as the roses!