50.5

So, Monday is my half birthday...50.5 and Fabulous!  Wanted to check in and update regarding my journey into Fifty and Fabulous!  Again, the Fabulous part really has nothing to do with my exterior.  It has to do with my mindset, and my health.  May 1 I started my journey with a Whole30 cleanse, in an effort to discover what foods might be adding to my stomach and overall health problems.  A learned a LOT from that experience, and have stuck close to the guidelines ever since.  I have learned that gluten and dairy are a very big problem for me, and I have avoided them, for the most part, since then. For those who don't know, the Whole30 cuts out inflammatory foods for 30 days, in an effort to reveal problematic foods, and to allow time for the digestive system to begin healing.  My system is affected by foods for sure, but I also react to stress (good or bad), and adrenaline rushes.  I had a very rare tumor when I was 27, that had to be removed, that produced adrenaline.  Ever since then, although I only have one adrenal gland now, I react in a volatile way to shock, or upset, or even a startle--not in my mind first, but in my body.  I can get chest pain, the shakes, flushing, sometimes even hives.  A cascade of chemicals spill out, even from something as simple as embarrassment--it is a leftover part of my condition, and I don't like it at all :-)  Anyway, one of the things it causes is stomach distress.  So, if I am either super duper happy and excited (like a visit with my grandson!) or facing extreme negative stress, I have a stomach crash afterwards--most often after the situation is long over.  It can result in a week or two of a stomach attack.  So, longer story short--I am addressing all that I can, removing ALL that I can, that makes matters even the slightest bit worse. The stomach issue is what made me take the giant leap into this journey.
So here I am, at a halfway mark of sorts. A lot has changed regarding the way I feel   I am not concerned with my appearance really, because that was not the point.  I do not want to be preoccupied with that.  It is hard enough to have to watch every single thing that goes into my mouth, due to food allergies and intolerances.  It is hard enough to plan meals and outings so that I can safely eat something.  There are certain restaurants I just cannot frequent, because I just don't have choices from the menu that are safe for me.  I am amazed at the reactions I get from people, from all directions, both positive and negative.  I have to shut it out sometimes, because I actually do feel bad enough about standing out--I don't want to be a problem, I don't want my situation to make people uncomfortable, but it does seem to.  I don't feel bad about what I cannot eat. It is amazing to me how people will feel they need to explain their own eating, when I cannot partake.  I just do NOT feel bad for myself in this.  I am glad for people to eat what they can, and what they want.  No judgement from me.  I don't even think about it, until someone starts explaining LOL  I just can't eat certain things.  I'll get sick.  I don't want to get sick, and that is what keeps me in the healthy mindset--I have a choice, and I just want to make the RIGHT choice, for ME..not for anyone else.  I am also amazed at some of the comments, when people haven't seen me for a while.  Some of them have blown me out of the water!  It makes me wonder sometimes what people thought of me before--I tread there for a moment, and then I let it go.  It is what it is. I yam what I yam.  I am still just me! :-)  I am blessed to be married to a man who sees me as the young bride he married nearly 30 years ago.  He has encourages me constantly.  He really didn't know I was fat.  LOL  He really didn't.  He didn't know and he didn't care! He cares how I feel, and this is what I care about also.  I have this one body that God gave me to take care of.  I just want to get the best use out of it, treat it as lovingly as I can, so that I can do what needs to be done, and be what I am supposed to be.  It is temporary--this body is headed for the ground, like everyone elses--until then, it is about my attitude--my mindset-my intentions. One of the best things that have resulted from my change in eating is breaking   cravings and addictions to certain foods.  I had no idea there was some bondage involved in what I was doing, and I had no idea I was comforting myself with certain foods.  I don't want to be in bondage to a craving that I must feed.  I want it to be a choice. That is something I learned along the way.  It is a big relief, for sure.  
SOOOO...  I have lost 37 pounds so far--forward motion, slow and steady.  I have a ways to go, but that's fine.  I don't feel pressured to attain a certain goal, but I do feel encouraged to try.  The point is, I am enjoying the journey--it isn't  painful, it isn't a chore.  It is exciting!  It is encouraging!  And, I thank my small handful of cheerleaders, who have been non-stop support for me!  I am so blessed by my little rooting section! So thankful!
Onward and upward I go!